


Throwing a Line to the Sea, to See if I Can Catch a Dream

by whenpaincomes (mols)



Category: Original Work
Genre: Bisexual Female Character, Depression, F/F, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-05
Updated: 2019-01-05
Packaged: 2019-10-04 23:25:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17313815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mols/pseuds/whenpaincomes
Summary: She doesn't deem herself worth, but she loves Alexandra. Based on personal feelings and experiences.





	Throwing a Line to the Sea, to See if I Can Catch a Dream

She wanted to be loved but she thought she couldn't be. There was no reason for such a thing to happen, she thought her vices were just so much greater than her qualities. She thought she couldn't make anyone happy, even if she tried her damnest.

Anne felt so bad for the most ridiculous reasons. She let silly things matter more than her friends: her friend's opinions, their warm embraces, their words of missing.

She felt so stupid to let these things reach her, destroy her, give her hopelessness feelings.

Anne missed Alexandra so badly.

  
~  
  


Alexandra thought of Anne completely different than Anne thought of herself.

Alexandra loved and cherished Anne's loud laughter and her bright smile. Loved how oddly positive Anne could be about situations that just looked terrible from afar.

Anne would hug Alexandra from behind and say "You're--you're the best, Alle." And Alexandra would push her away to hug her from the front, "You're silly," she would say, giving Anne so much love in a simple gesture of affection.

 

~

Anne would think Alexandra thought her silly, stupid, what she looked like sometimes to herself.  
  
But once Alexandra, from afar, admitted:

"Back then I wanted to kiss you," she would say, and Anne would blush and close her fists like saying 'why didn't I realize that back there?'

Anne had thought about kissing Alexandra. She had thought about laying down his life in front of her, to live into her arms. But she kept intact in her shell as she always did.

 

~

Anne still would like to kiss Alexandra, who lived so far away, so filled with friends.

Anne wanted to be her best, still, Anne wanted to be loved by that woman even when she detested herself for being so dumb, so little in comparison to others.

She needed to learn to love herself sometime. To accept herself as she was, not believing someone else's in the world being loved or being praised would make less of her to who she loved, for those who mattered to her.

Alexandra sometimes shows up in Anne's life. Anne still expects the day they'll meet again. Anne still wants to live into that woman's arms forever.


End file.
